A dear friend wrote me a handwritten letter, and part of her intention in doing so was to spark answers to some very important questions that we should sometimes ask ourselves. In this case, she was wanting to know more about a project that I am working on. She asked me, "What fuels you?"
I sat for a moment and the single most important thing that came to me was LOVE. It all comes back to love; to loving and being loved.
For example, when someone wakes up in the morning, puts on a pot of coffee, takes their children to school, goes into work, goes to the gym, cooks for their family, and pays their bills-- it all boils down to love. We can certainly bring other reasons to this like responsibility, survival, and shrug our shoulders and say that this is just what we do. But it is greater than that, it is because of love. It is because all we want is love and all we need is love. And if we rememeber that, it brings life and vitality to some of the most mundane things we do. Because ultimately, when we take care of ourselves, others, and all the in betweens, we are ultimately loving ourselves and loving others. Sometimes we lose the purpose of what we do in our every day living and feel that sense of void-- all that is signaling to us is that we must tap back into that love. If ultimately I am fueled by love, and I am seeking to receive and give love, is what I am doing condusive to that? When we do something as simple as washing our face and brushing our teeth, if we can bring that sense of, "this is me loving myself, taking care of myself, of my body that serves me so well" we can bring such immense purpose to everything we do.
Even when we are doing things that don't seem like love or behave in ways that are destructive, those are simply gestures that ultimately seeking love. At the bottom of a whiskey bottle, at the poker table, under the botox needle, at the puff of a cigarette-- all of these things that we are fueled to do is a representation of seeking love and loves fulfillment. Wholeness, happiness, feeling good-- these are all side affects of that love that we seek and that we are. We try to find the fullness, the quench, the comfort that love gives but sometimes we just have a roundabout way of doing it. This is where the aimlessness comes from. We feel lost when we dont know what we are looking for. It's like searching for something but not remembering what it was that we are setting out to look for. So, in realizing that we are ultimately fueled by love, by getting love, giving love, connecting to love, feeling loved-- we can fully understand our intentions behind why we do the things we do.